Gratitude
Some days, it feels like I have little control over the wild roller coaster ride of emotions that keeps coming my way as a mom. And on the more difficult mothering days, having little control over that ride can lead to overwhelm, irritability, stress, and major fatigue.
But, perhaps there’s a little something that can be a helpful practice on any day, but especially on those days when tantrum after tantrum after tantrum just keep coming our way.
And that little something is gratitude.
Brené Brown defines gratitude as an emotion that reflects our deep appreciation for what we value, what brings meaning to our lives, and what makes us feel connected to ourselves and others.
Gratitude precipitates the transition from encountering things as nice to encountering them with deep appreciation.
While gratitude can be an emotion, it’s a unique emotion in that it is also a practice.
Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer say gratitude involves recognizing, acknowledging, and being grateful for the good things in our lives.
In my own experience, gratitude has been key to slowing down. As much as I know experiencing all emotions is beneficial, I still prefer to experience the more positive ones. So, when I can find gratitude in my moments, whether good or challenging, it causes me to pause because I want to sit in that emotion as long as I can.
Robert Emmons, the leading scientific expert on gratitude, says it well, too, when he states that gratitude allows us to become greater participants in our lives as opposed to spectators. Gratitude takes us from the sidelines and makes us active participants in our experiences. It breathes life into what were once mundane and monotonous moments. Robert Emmons also says that instead of adapting to goodness, we celebrate goodness when we engage with gratitude.
Deep appreciation. Greater participants. Celebrate Goodness.
These words resonate with me as I’ve been studying and reading about gratitude. We can lean into these experiences through any of our emotional experiences. And as mothers, we usually have a wealth of emotions awaiting us.
That’s a captivating thing about gratitude. While other emotions ebb and flow, gratitude can remain a constant. I’ve found that when the more challenging emotions stick around longer than I want them to, or I find myself becoming more irritable for no apparent reason, I’ve often lost sight of gratitude.
There are a variety of ways to engage with gratitude: journals, art, lists, prayers, mantras. I’ve found that it’s best to choose something daily to bring intentional focus to gratitude, although the specific practice I do each day often varies. And through consistent engagement with practices, my thinking becomes more naturally prone to a more grateful mindset.
No matter what age kids you currently have, each day likely brings forth a roller coaster of emotions. But no matter what ups and downs are coming your way, gratitude can be a grounding, underlying practice to turn to again and again.
So give it a try, mama. What’s something you are grateful for?
